fresh perspective

so.....alot has changed since we have added 2 daughters to our family over the last year, really within months. Dawn came to be with us on June 5 and Presley came only 5 months later, on November 14. lots of changes to adapt to both girls - although very different....Presley keeps me physically exhausted....up at night (there is always something going on, I swear) Dawn keeps me emotionally exhausted as (Kyle &) I am so burdened for all the details in her life. And any parent will testify that no matter how weary and drained.....physically or emotionally - the sacrifices are always well worth the joys that your children bring to your life. All that to say another big change that I am really noticing is how adding Dawn has given me a fresh new perspective on adoption. Currently, Kyle and I are Dawn's "managing conservators" which is a title that we went before a judge to get that named her as "ours" in every legal way. The term is more that a "guardian" and just right below a legal adoption. We filed for this first because it was the quickest way for us to start her immigration stuff and that was the priority at hand. We plan to adopt her as soon as we can after the other stuff is secured....All that to say - she is definitely 100% apart of our family! It is awesome. We love it...bumps and all! But some people, even some people that are decently close to us, don't quite get it. They will say things like,"It is so great what yall are doing for her." or "are yall getting any money?" or maybe ask our family to dinner and then ask, "Is Dawn gonna come?" or even when I am talking about being on the go because I have to go get her from school, they say "Can't someone help you? Can't some other parent bring her home for you?" or even "Well, how long will she be with you?" She is almost done with school, right" 

If  you are someone who has said something like this to me or Kyle....this is not a rant directed negatively AT you. that is the point. Until now, I was probably more like that....that is were my perspective has been enlightened. When I first got married, I wanted 6 kids...down from the 8 or 12 I used to talk about when I was in highschool :) I wanted to birth them all and use all the names I had picked out. I have always been pro-adoption...ya, know - there are so many people who can't conceive; what a blessing for them. I saw my aunt and uncle adopt (who couldn't conceive) and a HS teacher and his wife (who also couldn't conceive) - then we had some friends adopt, who could conceive (Iveys) And watching and walking and talking through everything with them, let me see adoption in a different light. It became more personal and more real. I began to notice things like...a family friend saying she would never be interested in adopting a baby with anything crazy - like a mom who used drugs or a half black/half white baby (she was ok with a mexican and white baby though!)  I was all of a sudden offended! I even called Jamie that day to share with her my sudden rage with this nice, God loving lady. God continued to move Kyle and I; and our hearts kept coming back to the adoption conversation. We heard about an orphanage in Galveston (via Glenna who had a very moving encounter regarding adoption in a carmax waiting area) where there are currently babies, toddlers, children, teens....all with no home; and Kyle and I were drawn the that kid. not the perfectly healthy, blonde hair, blue eyed baby - but the hurt, mistreated, malnourished, abandoned child - that is being forgotten, so easily forgotten. All of this was right when we were wanting to get pregnant again - and we actually were wondering if maybe God  had adoption in mind for us before another pregnancy. All that to say, that it has been a process and a long journey. 

And then, there is Dawn, the grown up version of the kid that Kyle and I are burdened for - and God did in fact have adoption in His plan for us (along with Presley). And Dawn is ours, everyday we are loving her - fighting for her love, her healing - her spiritual, emotional, social best.....why would I have another parent pick up my kid from school? of course Dawn is coming to dinner with us - she is apart of us! No we aren't getting money - and we don't really want any....we want to provide for her just like we do for the other girls. And I understand the "what yall are doing is so great" sentiment, but, she is not "charity" in our house. She is not a "ministry". She is simply family. I do not know why I get so annoyed and frustrated when people don't get it - I've been there too. neways. I am done.